


It could be rats (Birmingham AU)

by Sister of Silence (Orcbait)



Series: Perpetual Nonesense (the AU-niverse) [3]
Category: Warhammer 40.000
Genre: Birmingham AU, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 14:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4609452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orcbait/pseuds/Sister%20of%20Silence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little thing written for a friend's AU, where all the Primarchs are kids/teens or young adults trying to deal with their difficult and often plain weird father, the Emperor of Mankind. Most of the weirdness has perfectly logical explanations, though usually not the ones the boys suspect it to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It could be rats (Birmingham AU)

Tic-toc. Tic-toc. The sound was soft but distinctive, like the measured strikes of a clock.

Surely enough, there was a clock in Caesar's study. It stood upon an elegant side table in the far corner opposite the door. It was an ancient, bronze timepiece with an ebony face and delicate golden hands. However, a glass window at its base showed its internal mechanisms: toothed cogs that did not turn and small pendulums that did not swing.

Tic-toc. Tic-toc. Caesar knew it was not the clock which made the deceptively innocuous noise. The clock had been quiet for centuries.

He stood in front of the wood panelled wall on the other side of his study, impeccable in suit pants and slipover, his cane in hand as if about to strike. Janette stood beside him, neatly dressed in blouse and black skirt, a yet collapsed switchblade at the ready. For all appearances, it looked as if they were about to assault a wall.

Tic-toc. Tic-toc. A shadow flitted across the wall and lingered in a corner that did not exist. Caesar's eyes narrowed in suspicion. He stretched out his free hand, slowly. Janette tensed. The second he snapped his hand out and snatched the little shadow, reality came apart at its seems. His hand disappeared in the wall but he resisted and pulled it back with a force that belied his years, tearing the streak of darkness from the panelled wood.

It screeched in every language and none known to men as Caesar flung it into the open, a liquid ball of blue and green with far too many eyes. It skidded across his desk, scattering documents and writing utensils in its wake. Janette circled the room far swifter than should be possible, coming up behind it blade in hand. The creature hissed when it saw her, recoiling as she advanced. Behind it, Caesar drew a shimmering silver blade from his cane. His lips formed words not meant to be heard as lightning jumped from his fingertips and wreathed the blade.

The creature was distracted. It was a primal thing, devoid of true sentience. It was occupied with Janette and the searing pain her proximity caused. It hissed and spat gobs of shimmering sludge at her that warped holes in reality where they landed. She dodged them nimbly, deflecting those she could not avoid with her switchblade as if it was far greater larger and broader than it's three inches.

Caesar watched them intently, waiting, like a predator eyeing its prey. He knew she would not be able to keep this up for long. He could feel her strength wane by the second. The creature was already partially onto the green cloth that covered his desk. Just a little further. She had to keep advancing, had to keep driving it back.

The second the creature backed fully onto the cloth, Caesar pounced. Thunder rolled around his office as he stabbed the blade down, impaling the creature to his desk. It shrieked and convulsed, steam rising from it as lightning raced across its liquid flesh.

There was a forceful rap at the door. “Father?”

Caesar grabbed the twitching creature and yanked the blade back as Janette pushed up the lid of his desk. He flung it in and she closed it immediately. There was a hole in the cloth, revealing part of a silvered sigil underneath. They both saw it as the door opened.

Janette jumped up and scooted onto the desk as Caesar dropped down in his chair, snapping his cane back together. Janette collapsed her switchblade and stuck it down her blouse, leaning onto her hand and covering the sigil the moment Caesar's son appeared from around the door.

A doubting frown congealed onto Rogal's stern features as he entered his father's study. It was immaculate, as always. And his father's piercing gaze fixed onto him from across his desk the second he entered, which was usual enough. However, he had not expected the au pair upon it. The desk, that is.

“Yes?” Caesar inquired, needlessly, and evidently irritated.

“When will Rob return?” Rogal asked without missing a beat. It was not a lie. Although it was not what he had come to inquire after either. That particular questioned seemed moot now.

Caesar looked at him for a long moment. Rogal had the distinctly uncomfortable feeling his father could read the truth from his forehead. “Next week,” his father answered at last.

“Right.” Rogal nodded. Silence fell as his gaze moved from his father to Janette. Rogal's eyes got stuck a little below her face for a moment. Her neat blouse was partially undone. Further than usual, that is. He could see an edge of... something. In fact, her entire appearance was a little rumpled. His gaze returned to his father, who merely raised an eyebrow.

Tic-toc. Tic-toc. Rogal flinched as if caught red-handed.

“What was that?” Rogal inquired awkwardly, trying to hide that he'd been spooked. He glanced at the clock. It's pendulums hung as still as ever.

“Rats,” Janette opted as she leaned her head sideways and smiled at him.

Tic-toc. Tic-TWAK. Rogal stared at her.

Janette winked at him. “Big ones.”

Rogal stared at them in disbelief, but Janette said nothing further and his father merely nodded. “Perhaps you should call an exterminator, father,” Rogal said, his tone somewhat apprehensive despite his best efforts.

“I will,” his father replied. And for the briefest moment, Rogal could have sworn a smile flicked across his features. “If there is nothing further?” his father added, on a tone that brooked no disagreement.

“No, father, that was all,” Rogal managed, turned on his heels and promptly left, closing the door behind him.

“Well, that could have gone worse,” Caesar remarked the moment the door snapped shut behind his son.

“All things considering,” Janette agreed as she suppressed a smile. She reached towards him and tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear. The moment she leaned towards him something hit the underside of the lid she sat upon, causing her to lose her balance. She flailed her arms awkwardly to regain it.

“Careful,” Caesar reacted swiftly, grabbing her shoulders and steading her, keeping her from being unceremoniously dumped off his desk and into his lap. They looked at the silver sigil in unison.

A scowl creased Caesar's brow as he reached for his cane. “I had feared this might happen.”

* * *

“And? What was the noise about?” Sanguinius chirped the moment his older brother reappeared from their father's study. He was dressed in neat grey pants, a white shirt whose sleeves he had rolled up and a crimson waistcoat, his dark hair in a tidy ponytail. He held a sheaf of paper in his hands and there was a smudge of what appeared to be paint across his cheek.

Rogal scowled disapprovingly. “Nothing that needs trouble you, little brother,” he replied on a tone that made it very clear the topic was not up for discussion. “Come.”

Sanguinius nodded and dutifully followed his brother, having to trot to keep up with his greater strides. “Have you seen Jen?” He asked as he held up the paper. “I finished my painting for her and I want to-.”

“No.”

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of time and hard work went into the creation and publication of this story and as such it is very dear to me. I would love to hear what you thought of it! If you decide to share my story, please credit and link back to me. Thank you!


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